Dee Dee's Desire
by Ozzie-Olin
Summary: Terry discovers that one of the Dennis sisters has been harboring feelings for him. Dealing with the deadly Dee Dee duo was hard enough before, but how is he supposed to cope with the fact that one wants to kiss him and the other wants to kill him when he can't even tell them apart? [Set after RotJ]
1. Chapter 1

**KTTTCH**

It wasn't the first kick to the head that Terry had received. Almost certainly wouldn't be the last. Still hurt like hell, though. The greasepainted Jokerz twins collectively known as Dee Dee were a lithe and acrobatic pair; lifting their legs high enough to swing them into Terry's masked face was an easy task for either of them to accomplish. Unluckily for him, both of them had done just that.

After his first encounter with this particular set of Jokerz, Terry had learned not to underestimate these two. They were still tricky in ways he couldn't always counter, however, and, in this case, he had blundered right into their trap. He was chasing one of them down an alley after she had mugged a tourist from Metropolis and had cornered her in a dead end. Before he could do anything else, he heard a sound behind him and wheeled around to face what he assumed was the other clown girl. He saw her smile and wave at him at the same moment that he felt her sister's foot colliding with the back of his head, launching him forward. The next thing he saw was a boot identical the one that just hit him whirling toward his nose as its owner spun around in a roundhouse kick.

Terry hit the ground, and his twin assailants taunted him as he lay on the dirty pavement.

"Look what we caught, Dee Dee."

"Ewww! Looks like a big ugly bat, Dee Dee."

"What do you think we should do with it?"

"Let's pull its wings off!"

Dee Dee grabbed Terry by the arms as he struggled to regain his bearing, lifting his upper body knee-high off the ground. They took turns kicking him in the chest as they held him in that position, knocking the wind out of him so that he couldn't even groan as he was pummeled. "Bruuuuuce... Heeeeelp..." he wheezed into the Batsuit's audio link as he lost consciousness.

* * *

Terry woke up hours later, still in the filthy alley he passed out in. Dee Dee had covered him in newspaper to conceal his body, and had scrawled **HA HA HA** all over his Batsuit in clown-red lipstick.

"Ugggh." Terry groaned as he pulled himself up. "Slag me. That could've gone better."

"I'll say." came Bruce's voice from the cowl. "Care to explain what that was all about?"

"They got the drop on me. Besides, sometimes those clowns have some tricks up their sleeves. The real question is in why they left me alive."

"Maybe they did something to the suit. Come back to the Batcave, I'll check it out." At this, the Batmobile, which had been hovering in stealth mode in the sky above Terry, revved its engines.

"On my way." Terry tried to smear off some of the lipstick with his thumb as he kicked on the Batsuit's jets and shot upward.

* * *

Terry winced as he stripped out of the Batsuit after he got back to the Batcave. His whole chest was blue and purple, and his ribs were so tender that he could barely breathe. "They really did a number on me. Remind me never to let someone use me as a kickball ever again."

"I remind you of that every week." Bruce replied as the took the suit over to the examination table.

"Well, remind me to listen to you then." Terry held an ice pack to the biggest of his many bruise.

"Hmmph. So now what are you going to do?" Bruce peeled away the outermost layer of the Batsuit to expose the electronics underneath to check for any sign of sabotage.

"Tonight, I'm going to go home and heal." Terry wound a gauze bandage around his ribcage. "Tomorrow, I'm going to look into what Dee Dee is up to. I haven't seen them since The Joker..." Terry trailed off and looked downward. "Well, you know. No clue what made them pop up now. Couldn't have been just the sixty creds in a woman's purse."

"Take two days off. With your injuries and the diagnostics I want to run on the Batsuit, you're going to be too underpowered to get anything done in Gotham for a while. Maybe you could see Dana tomorrow night."

Terry sighed. "That's assuming she wants to see me. I had to bail on her to follow Dee Dee, and it's too late to call and explain by now. I don't know what I'm going to say to her tomorrow." He got dressed into his street clothes and headed for the door.

"I told you that this job doesn't leave for a social life."

"And I told you, remind me to listen to you."

* * *

Terry, still in pain from the night before, had a slow start to the morning and got to school late. Dana was waiting for him at his locker when he finally arrived. "Well, well, it's my favorite superhero, The Incredible Disappearing Boyfriend. Which do you want to explain first, why you ditched me, or why you didn't even call and apologize?"

"I'm sorry, Dana. Really, I am. Mr. Wayne needed me for an urgent errand, and it took all night. I'm still sore today."

Dana took a deep breath. "Look, Ter. I appreciate the fact that you're the one supporting your family now. I know how important this job is for both you and Mr. Wayne. But it's unfair to me to have such an unreliable boyfriend. I understand that providing for your mom and little brother is the most important thing outside of your education; all I'm asking is that you be there for me when you say you will. You quit this job to be with me not too long ago, and, up until the point where we got attacked, I was thrilled. I'm not asking you to do that again, but until Mr. Wayne is more self-reliant or you get an assistant to help out, I can't take this constant lack of priority from my boyfriend." The class bell rang before Terry could reply. Dana kissed him on the cheek. "I love you, Terry. But I'll see you later." She walked to her class and left him standing dumbstruck in the hallway.


	2. Chapter 2

With Dana not talking to him, the rest of the school day dragged onward for Terry. Max attempted to comfort him, but nothing she said was any help, given that it was ultimately Terry's role as Batman that was keeping the couple apart. Nelson "accidentally" smashing his shoulder into Terry's ribs as he passed by in the hallways after lunch did very little to improve Terry's mood.

Leaning against a locker and struggling to breathe, Terry silently decided that he couldn't take any more, scooped up his backpack, and left the school, skipping his last two classes. He went out to the parking lot of the school and hopped on his motorcycle, starting it up and peeling out onto the street. Angry, dejected, and frustrated, he rode into the same area he had seen Dee Dee in the night before in the hopes that he could work out some aggression on some other clown-faced goon. He sped around the seediest parts of Neo-Gotham for hours. Even after the sun set, there wasn't the slightest hint of crime anywhere. "Figures. The one day I'm actually hoping for a lunatic in facepaint, and I'm finally making Gotham a better place."

As he stopped at a gas station to fuel up, he realized that it was nearly midnight. He went inside to pay and get an energy drink so he'd have enough caffeine in his system to keep driving all night. He was halfway through pounding the can as he stepped back outside. As he lowered the drink from his face, he saw a blonde girl in a short dress standing by his motorcycle, running her hand up and down the seat and watching him. He scowled. "Something I can help you with?"

"You sure are cute when you're angry!" She smiled. "And masterfully unsubtle. I mean, a motorcycle? Really? I heard you coming from miles away."

Terry suddenly understood what she was talking about. "Dee Dee!?" He dropped the can and positioned himself into a defensive stance.

"Call me Deidre, please. Neither of us is on the job right now, Batman. I'm sorry. **Terry**." She winked at him. "And you can put your fists down. I'm not here to fight; you're in no condition to take me on right now anyway.

Terry relaxed his pose slightly, but still didn't get any closer. "Then what are you here for?"

"Well, **you**, of course. And it seems like you're here for me, so that's just one more thing we've got in common." She smiled at him again and climbed onto his motorcycle. "Why don't you take me for a ride, and we'll see what else we have in common."

Terry gaped at her brazen behavior. "I know you Jokerz are crazy, but are you **crazy**!? Why would I do that? You almost killed me last night!"

"Almost." She replied with the biggest grin yet and a pat on the motorcycle's seat. "And I know that finding out why is the only reason you're out here right now. Take me for a ride, and I promise to tell you all about it."

Terry never found The Jokerz' jokes funny, but this one downright confounded him. Still, it was pretty clear that if Deidre was going to do anything to him, she'd have done it the night before. Terry hesitantly straddled the motorcycle and started it up. "All right. But you'd better not have any tricks up your sleeves." He looked back at her to make eye contact.

"No tricks." She held up her bare arms. "No sleeves!" As he turned himself back ahead and pulled out of the gas station, she wrapped her arms around his midsection and held on tight.

* * *

The two sped around Neo-Gotham, which, even in the dead of night, was vibrantly lit up with neon signs. As many cars were now hovercars, and it was past midnight, they encountered very little traffic. Fifteen minutes of silent riding passed before Terry finally piped up. "So what's the story? You promised an explanation and I'm still waiting." he asked through his helmet as they were stopped at a red light.

"Oh, are you still on that?" she teased. "We didn't kill you because I have no interest in seeing you dead!" She squeezed his midsection tighter.

"Then why did you attack me in the first place? And why the lipstick graffiti?"

"Well, you know how it is when you like someone and sometimes you tease them a little. Y'know, pull a girl's pigtails on the playground? That sort of thing."

"You kicked me until I passed out in a filthy alley." Terry responded with astonishment in his voice.

"Yeah!" she giggled. "I **really** like you."

The light turned green and Terry pulled past the intersection, stopping the bike at the closest place to park by the sidewalk curb. He dismounted and faced Deidre, removing his helmet. "So what are you trying to tell me, that this is your way of asking me on a date?"

She pouted at him from atop his motorcycle. "How else was I supposed to get your attention? There's no symbol to shine in the sky when I want you to show up, you know. I had to get creative, get my sister to help me stage a little robbery." She climbed off the motorcycle's seat and took a step toward him. "I knew you'd come swooping in like a knight in dark black armor."

Terry was bewildered. "You went to that much effort just to ask me out? Why?"

"Sometimes good girls like bad boys." She touched his arm. "Sometimes bad girls like good boys. Especially when they're as cute as you."

Terry got back on the motorcycle and started it up again, sliding the helmet back onto his head.

"Wait, what are you doing!?" Deidre called after him.

Terry lifted the visor. "I know a joke when I hear one, clown. And I'm not laughing."

Deidre's face dropped. For the first time thus far, she seemed to be taking the situation seriously. "I'm not joking. Look at me. No makeup, no red wig, not even a whoopee cushion. I mean it."

Her sudden sober response gave Terry pause. He still doubted she was being honest with him, but he also couldn't figure what the point of this scam would be. He decided this wasn't something he could puzzle out right now, caffeine and adrenaline coursing through his veins, the respective pains in his heart and chest from the breakup with Dana and the beating Deidre and her sister had given him still fresh. Terry sighed under his breath. "Give me your phone number. I'll call you tomorrow, and we'll meet somewhere. If I think it's a setup or I see your sister lurking around, I'm not going to hesitate to take you down and bring you in. Got it?"

The smile crept back across her face. "I love it when you use that tough guy voice. It's a date."


	3. Chapter 3

Between the late hours he had kept the night before, and the fact that his body was still recovering from the events of the night before that, Terry had slept well past noon. Luckily, it was a Saturday, and nobody was expecting anything of him any earlier than that. After getting out of the shower and having a lunchtime breakfast, he took out his phone and stared at the newest number he had typed into it. He wasn't nearly the detective Bruce was, but he still thought the whole thing smelled fishy. Still, he knew at least one trick about being the Batman; keep your friends close and your enemies closer, and that intimate motorcycle ride kept Deidre pretty close.

Terry hit enter and waited. After a couple rings, he heard Deidre's voice on the other end. "Hello?"

"Deidre? It's me."

'You know, for a bat, you're kind of an early bird. I wasn't expecting to hear from you for a few hours, at least." Her voice had a gentle teasing, singsongy quality to it that prevented Terry from ever knowing if she was genuine or not. "So what's the plan, Batman? Picnic in the park? Dinner in the city? Moonlight stroll on the beach? Don't leave a girl wondering."

Despite her cavalier attitude, Terry was still all business. "Meet me on the corner of Devin and Dixon in an hour."

Deidre paused. "But that's the police station."

"Exactly. That way, if it's a trap, I don't have to take you very far to lock you up."

"Mmm, I don't let you use the handcuffs until at least the second date. I'm old-fashioned like that." she cooed.

Terry was taken aback by her candor, but didn't let her know. "I mean it. No tricks."

"Cross my heart and hope to die. See you soon!" She made a kissing sound and hung up.

* * *

Terry sped over to the Batcave to confer with Bruce and check on the status of the Batsuit. He was reasonably sure Dee Dee hadn't sabotaged it, but maybe Bruce had found evidence to the contrary. As he parked his motorcycle, he could see his suit hanging up alongside all the others, and Bruce was already enveloped in some other project at the workbench. "The suit came up clean." he remarked without looking up. "Aside from the lipstick, anyway. No idea what the gag was."

"It wasn't quite a joke; more an invitation."

"Invitation to what?"

"...A date."

Bruce turned to Terry and stared. "You're joking. They want a date?"

"Not they; just Deidre." Terry shrugged. "I'm meeting her in front of the police station in a couple hours."

"Because dating a supervillain worked so well for you with Ten." Bruce growled dryly.

"Hey, this is strictly Batman business. Even if she has the hots for me, I still have to keep an eye on her."

"That's the same excuse I gave to myself and Dick when it came to Selina. Sounds even flimsier coming from you. What does Dana think about all this?"

"She dumped me first thing yesterday morning. Just one more perk of the night job."

"So that's it. You think that since Deidre knows you're Batman, it'll go smoother somehow? Trust me, that doesn't make it any easier."

"I'm telling you, Bruce, it's not like that. Why do you think I'm here for the Batsuit? It's not because we're going to a costume party together."

Bruce relented. "Just be careful out there. I don't want to have to call the JLU up just because your love life is out of control."

Terry grimaced. "And have Warhawk lord that over me? I'd rather die, thanks." He took the Batsuit out of the case and folded it up, tucking it into his backpack.

"I'll hold you to that." Bruce called after Terry as he started his motorcycle back up and drove off into the city.

* * *

Despite his detour out to Wayne Manor, Terry still showed up at the meeting place several minutes early. Deidre was already waiting for him, leaning against a lamppost and blowing a impressively-sized gum bubble. Unlike Terry, who was wearing the exact same outfit he always wore, Deidre had clearly put thought into looking good for their date. She was wearing a bright blue and yellow ringer t-shirt and a short floral skirt with yellow and blue flowers. As she saw Terry approaching, she waved to him and popped the bubble.

"Heya, hero!" she crooned as he approached, her breath fragrant with the smell of artificial grape flavoring from the bubblegum. "I was hoping you'd show up soon; hanging out in front of the cop shop isn't exactly my idea of a good time." She blew another bubble.

Though he had no intention of admitting it to the supervillainess, Terry was surprised to see her so casual and confident. His certainty that this whole thing was a trap was eroding by the minute, which led to an even worse realization: that he might really be on a date with her. "If I turn around right now, I'm not going to get kicked in the face by your sister again, am I?" he said with a stony expression on his face.

Deidre popped the bubble. "Actually, I was the one who snuck up behind you last time. It seemed like a good excuse to check out your ass." she said with a coy grin. "Come on, let's get going. I promise nothing bad's gonna happen to you."

Terry was torn. If she was telling the truth, then there was no point in humoring her any further with the ludicrous date idea. If she was lying, then leaving the area near the police station significantly weakened his strategic options. And, of course, if she was doing one, but he counted on her doing the other, then who knows what the outcome would be? "Where did you have in mind?" he asked cautiously.

She shrugged emphatically, arms raised high above her head. "I dunno! Who cares!?" She rotated in a circle, gesturing to her surroundings with her outstretched arms. "It's a Saturday in Gotham!" She ceased twirling and looked Terry in the eyes with a euphoric grin on her face. "Let's do whatever!"

Terry decided to just go with it. "I know of a good burger place nearby. Hungry?"

Deidre spit her gum into a nearby trash can. "Ravenous." She hopped onto the back of his motorcycle, waiting for him to take his place in front of her. Once he did, she wrapped her arms tightly around him again, and they took off down the road.


	4. Chapter 4

After a perfectly ordinary bike ride, and the two of them ordering their food at the burger place like there was nothing remotely abnormal about the situation, Terry finally had to ask her: "Why me?"

"Huh?" she said, not comprehending his meaning.

"Why are you so intent on chasing after me? What is it about me that made you go to such lengths to get in touch with me?"

"I told you, sometimes bad girls are into good boys. And I don't see anyone more goody-goody than you, Mr. McGinnis."

"There's gotta be more to it than that." He lowered his voice. "If all you wanted was a good guy, then you'd be chasing after Superman."

"Ew!" she giggled. "He's like a thousand." She reached across the table, placed her hand on his, and looked him square in the eyes, complete sincerity on her face. "Okay, so you got me. I just happen to think you're really hot and I wanted to see what you look like naked."

Terry's eyes widened, and he looked around to see the waitress standing there with their order, clearly trying not to laugh. He took the plates of food from her without making any eye contact, and heard a burst of laughter coming from the kitchen after she walked away.

Deidre grinned widely at him and stuffed a handful of fries in her mouth, reveling in the fact that she had just thoroughly embarrassed Terry. "You gotta lighten up, Terry. If you're on the verge of blushing at just the mention of nudity, you're gonna blow a gasket when you actually see me naked later tonight!" she exclaimed after swallowing.

Terry nearly choked on his burger at this. It was clear to him now that Deidre was absolutely serious about pursuing him; never in his life had he heard a more genuine declaration that the person he was with wanted him to see them naked. More surprising to him, though, was the fact that the prospect of that had excited him. He suddenly found himself wondering precisely what she looked like naked, instead of plotting a way to take her down if she attacked. It was enough to make him decide to continue on with the date, at least through the meal. "Cute. I'm still waiting for a real answer." he said in an authoritative voice he hoped would make it seem like he wasn't completely caught off-guard by her behavior.

She ate a few more handfuls of fries before replying. "Oh, they've all been real answers so far. I mean it when I say I'm looking for someone nice, someone with a little compassion; someone who isn't just thinking of himself and what use I am to him. And I mean it when I say I think you're a cutie. Not everything has some big cosmic explanation to it, y'know. Sometimes things just happen." She sunk her teeth into her cheeseburger.

"Nope." he responded matter-of-factly, crossing his arms. "I don't buy it. Something about me is special to you, and I'm not going to drop this until I find out exactly what."

"Mr. Ego!" she retorted with a wry smirk. "Is it really so hard to believe that I think you're sweet? That I'm tired of hanging with twips like Chucko and Ghoul and would rather chase after someone selfless enough to put his life on the line protecting people from those goons? Someone good-hearted enough to always be careful to take my sister and me down without hurting us too bad, even when we wouldn't have hesitated to kill him?" With every successive sentence, her smile faded more and more; her voice taking on a more sincere, almost plaintive tone. "Do you have trouble understanding that looking into the eyes of someone like The Joker made me realize that I'm sick of sickos?" She half-heartedly shoved another fry into her mouth.

Terry listened solemnly until she was finished. "So coming to me like this is your way of proving that you've put a life of crime behind you?" he asked quietly.

"**HA!**" Deidre let out a yelp of laughter, grinning madly. "I never said **I** was going goody-goody. Just that I'm tired of being with clowns, literally and figuratively. If you expect me to swap sides just for you, then you better be even more fun to fuck than you are to fight."

Surprising both of them, Terry laughed at her statement. Despite himself, he was charmed by her ability to snap back to joyfulness after being so profoundly forthright about something that pained her.

"I knew it!" she said excitedly. "I knew you had a sense of humor! You're a tough nut to crack; I've been tossing out A+ material for days and you never cracked a smile. See, you should've said at the start that you liked it blue; we could've saved some time!" She grinned again and finished off the last of her fries before moving on to the remainder of her cheeseburger.

Terry polished off his burger, having saved his fries for last. "Deidre, you should know that I just got dumped by someone that I love and have every intention of trying to win back. You're starting to grow on me, but there's no chance of us getting together." He picked up a fry and slowly swirled it into some ketchup. "This is going to be our only date."

She pouted at him. "Lemme guess; it's the Asian chickie you were with when the Joker had us attack you in that nightclub? The one who oh-so-obviously doesn't know about your double life, which is probably why she dumped you?"

Terry was stunned. "How the hell did you put that together?"

She shrugged and smiled. "My nana was a doctor; Delia and I got all our brains from her. She also taught us how to hide it so that everyone underestimates you, and then you've got them right where you want them." She slid her foot up Terry's leg underneath the table. "Case in point."

Terry shifted back in his seat to evade her. "Well, anyway, that's the way it is. I'm sorry."

"Three things, handsome: 1. She doesn't know your little secret, and if she's broken up with you over it once already, she's gonna do it again the next time you end up fighting Jokerz or saving the city from Mad Stan. I, on the other hand, already know all about your alter ego and don't mind it one bit; hell, it turns me on. 2. It's a Saturday night, and instead of standing outside her bedroom blasting some gross love song while it pours rain all over that brown jacket of yours, you're buying me dinner, listening to me tell you how bad I want you again and again. Which, after what I just did with my foot, I know for a fact is getting you going." Deidre then plastered a smile across her face that told Terry, in no uncertain terms, he wasn't the only one whose engines were revved.

He cleared his throat. "And the third thing?"

"I always say the best way to get over someone old is to get under someone new. And right now, I wanna ride you like a fucking carousel pony. Pay the check and let's go back to my place." She jerked her thumb toward the waitress, who had managed to approach the table right as Deidre was at her most vulgar.

Despite once again being utterly embarrassed in front of the waitress, Terry found her logic unassailable. He paid the check, with a generous tip which he hoped would smooth any ruffled feathers over the use of coarse language in public, and the pair took off on his motorcycle in the direction of Deidre's loft.


End file.
